seriously though take this personality quiz and tell me what you get. it’s important.
I AM A MAJESTIC PENGUIN
oh jeez I’m a wolf of all things
I can’t believe it. I’m ott
im a bat
yep i’m a bat
I’m a waddler!
00Q illustration for this year’s holiday cards
Okay, here’s a story to go along with this awesome art my friend lezzerlee did a few years back. This was a part of a trio of art along with a pic of Stiles and one of Black Widow. I display the vast majority of the fanart I collect over the years in my kitchen (fridge, walls, cupboard doors, etc), and this particular trio is up on my freezer.
So a few days ago, goldenwatcher was in my kitchen while I was doing something else in the next room, and she calls out to me asking, “Why do you ship Harry Potter/Clint Barton?” I couldn’t figure out what the HELL she was talking about, so I walked over with the most WHAT THE FUCK look on my face and saw her pointing at this picture.
I just started laughing and explained that it’s Q/Bond and she looked again and head tilted and kind of, “Oh…oh, that makes a lot more sense.” ::LOL::
So now everytime I go in to grab a soda, I see this pic and giggle to myself about how Harry/Hawkeye is my new OTP.
Truly fangirls are the gifts that keep on giving!
I can totally see it! Harry/Clint. I am dying! :DDD
After nearly a decade together, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have finally tied the knot. The couple had been engaged since 2012. The marriage announcement came succinctly in a 140-character tweet from the AP: “Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt were married Saturday in France, says a spokesman for the couple.” The wedding was reportedly a private, nondenominational civil ceremony that took place at a small chapel in Correns, France’s Chateau Miraval, the AP reports. Hollywood’s most famous couple has been together since 2005 and are the parents of six children, each of whom took part in the wedding. (x)
The 5 Things A Massage Therapist Will Probably Tell You To Do In Order To Stop Hurting
Caveat: I’ve only been a massage therapist for about 7 months. But I’ve noticed that lots of people come in with the same issues, and I wind up giving the same stretches and exercises as “homework.” So I thought, why not tell everyone? Here they are:
1. “Shoulderblade kisses” aka scapula retraction exercise.
You know that spot between your shoulderblades that gets tense all the time? Well, it’s not actually tense: it’s stretched. Those are your rhomboids and the pain they experience is the price we pay for using a computer, studying, driving a car, texting, and any other activity that involves our arms being out in front of us. That position brings our shoulders and our shoulderblades forward into protraction. That stretches out the rhomboids and causes them to tense up in an effort to counteract our slump.
What do? Take your arms out to the sides, Jesus-style. Now bend your elbows and try to bring them behind your back. Your forearms should still be out to the sides. You’ll kind of look like you’re trying to pick a fight with someone. Do 25 of these and you should be able to feel those rhomboids getting stronger, pulling your shoulders back where they should be.
2. “Write the alphabet with your nose” aka neck exercises.
Stiff neck? Tension headaches? You might be tempted to stretch. Don’t. Necks are super-prone to adhesions and trigger points, both of which can actually get worse if you stretch without warming up the muscles first. Next time you wake up with neck pain, try exercising it instead of stretching.
What do? My favorite is the alphabet exercise, in which you pretend the tip of your nose is a pencil and write the alphabet with it. Start off small with A and get bigger until the Z is huge. That takes your neck through a lot of different motions.
3. “Play superman” aka back extension exercises.
Hand-in-hand with the shoulder slump is the back curve. This usually presents as pain in the mid-back on either or both sides of the spine, in what’s called the erector spinae group (or ESGs in massage lingo). True to their Latin, the ESGs hold us upright—but when we’re slumping forward all the time they, like the rhomboids, get stretched out and weakened. Then when we go to lift something too heavy and bend over instead of using our legs, we get that eeeeeeak feeling in our back that is the ESGs informing us that this shit is not on.
What do? Lie on your front with your arms out to the sides. The picture above is kind of advanced: feel free to not have your arms out so far above your head, I only have my arms at a ninety-degree angle with my shoulders, frankly. Start off with maybe 20 reps of that motion and work your way up to 50 and arms straight out. Don’t overwork the muscles, but get them going.
4. “Cobra pose” aka psoas stretch.
You ever get that pain in your low back from sitting in a chair for a long time? That’s your psoas being a bitch. This stretch is a natural transition from the superman exercises. Really, it stretches a whole lot of things that need it, but especially the psoas muscles. The psoas attaches to the fronts of the vertebrae in the small of your back and run down through the pelvis to end up on the insides of your legs. It’s a waist flexor, which means that all that time you spend sitting down is teaching it to be short. Then when you go to stand up, it wants to STAY short instead of stretching, and the result is a sharp, powerful tug on your lumbar vertebrae and a helluva lot of low back pain.
What do? Lie on your front and rise up onto your elbows. You should feel a stretch in your abdomen. If you don’t, go up further onto your hands. If you still don’t, do this shit. Then get the fuck away from me. Jesus, what’s wrong with you? Do you not have a spine?
5. “Foam rolling your IT band” aka WHY GOD WHY DOES IT HURT??
I don’t know who made that picture but it is 100% accurate. See, there’s this swath of connective tissue (think tendons and ligaments) that runs down the sides of your thighs from your hips to your knees, called the Iliotibial Band, or IT band or ITB for short. The ITB, being sticky-wicky connective tissue, loves to get tangled up in everything around it, which is primarily the hamstrings and the quads. The adhesions that form along the whole length of the ITB prevent both these muscles groups from relaxing, and leads to all sorts of painful things, from torn hamstrings to kneecaps getting out of alignment and wearing down cartilage (thus necessitating knee replacements) to hip issues (gluteus maximus aka “the butt” feeds into the ITB). Basically it wants to fuck up your entire lower body.
What do? Well, if you’ve got a high pain threshold like the lady with the rictus grin in the picture, you can buy a foam roller and plop down on it like she is, then roll back and forth to your heart’s screaming, agonized content. If, however, your IT band is as sensitive as most people’s, I recommend getting a hard plastic water bottle (one that won’t crack and has a tight lid!!), filling it up with warm water, and using that instead. You can either assume the same position as above, or simply sit in a chair and rub it up and down your legs from hip to knee. Do it for about five minutes each day and that will relax the IT band as well as loosen the adhesions to the hamstrings and quadricep muscles. Stretch both those muscles afterwards for maximum benefit!
Again: caveat. I am by no means an expert at this. These are just the things that I’ve found to be most helpful for my clients. I take no responsibility if you injure yourselves actually doing these things, and especially no responsibility if you actually decide to foam roll your IT band. Seriously, that shit hurts.
Cannot stress enough the IT band thing. I’ve had problems stemming from it, a lot of people I know have had problems from it, and like it’s pointed out here, it can fuck your shit up everywhere—knees, hips, glutes, low back. My friend Holly and I have a running joke that anything can be fixed by rolling your IT band, and it isn’t that far from the truth.
I’m a hardcore foam roller, but another more gentle option, kind of an upgrade from the water bottle mentioned above, is The Stick. I’ve got one that I use when I travel, and I recently used it a lot when I couldn’t foam roll due to post-op physical limitations.
IT band work can definitely be painful, especially at first, but it gets better over time. The first time I used my foam roller after my surgery, it hurt way more than usual, because The Stick is good, but doesn’t get in there the same way, and I had regressed a little. But the next night it already hurt less, and within a few days it was back to what I consider the usual level of discomfort that means it’s working, which is tolerable.
And don’t be afraid to keep it short. Maybe you can only make one pass, and have to stop. That’s fine! Do that for a while, and then maybe you’ll be able to do two, then three, etc. You don’t need to jump in the deep end.
Remember how everyone’s favorite part of Heath Ledger’s performance in Brokeback Mountain was his almost painful physical repression, his reluctance to express any emotion that wasn’t punching or SHUTTING DOWN? His voice was closed in on itself in a raspy burr — he fell to the ground rather than shed tears — his face was hooded and dark and full of twitching cheek muscles. Kristen Stewart is Heath Ledger, I assure you. She has the same handsome face, the same winsome, masculine smile, the same reluctance to make direct eye contact.
For years, everyone in the world has misunderstood Kristen Stewart’s compressed emotional range. They thought it meant she was a limited actress; it means nothing of the kind. She is John Wayne being forced to play the Maureen O’Hara character. Give her a rail to lean against during a sunset, a military jacket, a toothpick to chew on, and something to squint her eyes against lazily in the distance, and her guardedness will be transformed from unsuccessful femininity to The Great American Male.
Kristen Stewart is a goddamn cowboy.
I want it on the record that I would watch ten million movies with Kristen Stewart playing a cowboy, and I am not even exaggerating.
Now this makes me want to see this movie more.
i want female villains whose backstory don’t revolve around men breaking their hearts or wanting to be more beautiful than another girl i want female villains who are evil for the fun of it and i want female villains with tragic backstories that don’t revolve around men i want female villains with backstories and motives just as diverse and complex as male villains i’m so sick of female villains who are only motivated by men and girlhate
New Ask Meme: Send me music that you think describes my aesthetic
I saw a few asks that say “describe my aesthetic” so this one takes a bit more creativity.
Whether it’s the lyrics or just the over all sound, send me a song that you think fits my “aesthetic”
Oh, super curious about this. I feel like I don’t put a lot of myself out there, so if there’s anything, I wonder what it is.
I’d have thought stuff by Black Mountain or the Pink Mountaintops. A bunch of them, really, but the first track that comes to mind is Sweet 69. Can’t remember if that’s black or pink but they’re the same band anyway.
I feel like this is pretty good! It’s got a great lo-fi rock feel, which I adore, and is befitting to my style, indeed. :D
I hope you don’t mind if I put my idea for yours. I think Aloan fits you. Just enough melancholy for some depth, but with a sultry fierceness to it. And a good rock vibe. In Theory is a song I’d pick for you.
Jon Stewart is back from vacation, and he’s not wasting any time going after one of his favorite targets: Fox News.